The Hidden Lives of the Zoophiles
The Hidden Lives of the Zoophiles: What You Didn't Know About Sex With Animals By Dr. Hani Miletski , Ph.D. translated by Michael Kiok & retranslated by Quantum Husky with Google Translate
It all started when one of my clients, I want to call him Christian, told me that he couldn't find any literature on bestiality / zoophilia. He was a client in my psychotherapy practice because he couldn't stop having sex with dogs. He was a very religious person who believed it was wrong to have sexual relations with anything other than a woman. And then only if you are married to this woman. Even so, he couldn't control his urge to have sexual relations with the neighborhood dogs.
I asked the librarian at the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS) to do a literature search for me (I had no internet connection at the time), which ended in greater disappointment. There was nothing out there about bestiality and zoophilia but an autobiography by Mark Matthews: The Horseman: Obsessions of a Zoophile. In this book the author describes his struggle with himself to accept that he loves his horse more than his wife. He describes himself as an intelligent working person who is sexually attracted to horses and who actually married after admitting his love for his horse.
I was intrigued by the idea that there might be people there who were sexually addressed by animals and even preferred animals to humans as sexual partners. I decided to devote my PhD to this topic and started to study zoophilia / bestiality.
It wasn't that easy. Some of my friends and colleagues thought I was out of my mind: "WHAT do you want to investigate?" Some concluded that there was something wrong with myself, that I needed therapy, and / or that I was having sex with animals myself. The man I was dating at the time was struggling to even talk about the subject, and we ended up going our separate ways (it wasn't the ideal relationship anyway). But there were others who admired me and encouraged me to do my controversial research, and it seemed like I was the first researcher to touch this apparently unknown phenomenon and do a large-scale scientific study of bestiality / zoophilia.
With renewed vigor, I now spent full days in the library of the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, the Library of Congress in Washington, DC, and the library of the National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH) in Bethesda, Maryland . I found a specialized magazine, The Wild Animal Revue, which gave me a lot of information on the subject, and whose editor was kind enough to borrow various rare books to help me with my research. I bought other rare books from a small store in New York, and the Internet was a rich source of information on bestiality and zoophilia.
In the end I found a number of books and articles whose authors mention and sometimes discuss zoophilia and bestiality. Many authors suggest that human beings have and have had sexual relations with animals since the beginning of history and around the world (more in some countries than others). These authors state that one secretly dreamed, thought of and practiced sexual relations with animals, and that this reappeared in myths, fairy tales, folklore, literature, painting, and in the form of sculpture (Cauldwell, 1948; Dumont, 1970; Kinsey et al, 1948; Kullinger, 1969; Masters, 1962). Nonetheless, none of these authors provide a deeper insight into the life and behavioral patterns of people who have sexual relationships with animals. Many authors contribute their personal opinions and discuss sexual relationships with animals as if they were experts in the field. However, their opinions are often conflicting, which confuses the reader.
This extensive literature search dispelled any remaining doubts about the need for a study of bestiality and zoophilia. My literature research showed that scientific studies on the motivation leading to bestiality / zoophilia and studies describing the sexual, social, mental and health profile of those affected are very rare. The few studies in the literature review that deal with these questions (Kinsey et al., 1948; Kinsey et al., 1953; and Hunt, 1974) proved out of date and not very productive because they did not specifically address the topic of bestiality / Investigate zoophilia. The more recent study by Donofrio (1996) deals explicitly with people who have sexual relationships with animals,
This large gap in knowledge about bestiality / zoophilia annoyed me. I believed then as now that we, as clinical sexologists and therapists, must be equipped with carefully researched basic knowledge so that we can understand the phenomenon and the people involved. It is important for us, whose job it is to help those who experience and struggle with ego-impairing feelings of bestiality / zoophilia, that this research be available and continue.
So I decided to do some research that should bring facts about this under-explored and misunderstood sexual behavior. I also wanted to understand the motivation and people who have sexual relationships with animals.
I was fascinated by the idea that some people may be sexually attracted to animals to the point that they prefer animals to humans as sexual partners. The new term that the "zoo" community (zoo is just an abbreviation for zoophilia) has coined on the Internet: "zoosexuality" includes a sexual orientation towards animals. Stasya (1996), Tanka (1995), Shepherd (1996) and Fox (1994) on the Internet agreed with this definition. And Donofrio (1996) writes that the concept that zoophilia is a sexual orientation is supported by his dissertation. That is why he suggests using a scale that is reminiscent of Kinsey's measure of sexual orientation, which Blake (1971) also proposed. Donofrio's model suggests that those who have no interest whatsoever in sexual contact with animals should
So I decided that my research should answer the question: "Is there a sexual orientation towards animals?" I adopted Francoer's definition of sexual orientation (1991) from his work on homosexuality, heterosexuality, and bisexuality. According to this definition, sexual orientation consists of three interdependent aspects: 1. Affectional orientation - who or with what we connect emotionally; 2. Sexual Fantastic Orientation - with whom or what we have sex in our imagination; 3. Erotic orientation - with whom or what we prefer to have sex.
Now I had to find subjects. I just had no idea how to handle it. I had my client, but that was definitely not enough. So I started talking about it to anyone who would listen to me. I put an ad in The Wild Animal Revue. I posted a notice on the bulletin board of the Institute for Advanced Study for Human Sexuality. I sent a letter to Mark Matthews, the founder of the Zoophiliac Outreach Organization. I placed an ad in Sexual Science, the Society for Scientific Study of Sexuality's newsletter. I placed an ad in Contemporary Sexuality, the American Association for Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) newsletter. And above all, I posted a corresponding posting on the Internet in the newsgroup alt.sex.bestiality.
When I went to Baltimore, Maryland, to the AASECT annual meeting in June 1996, I posted a notice on the notice board there too. A prominent sexologist (from another organization) felt offended by the notice and had it removed. In the end, this sad incident had its good side: the President of AASECT, at the time Dr. Judy Seifer, apologized formally and became one of my mentors on this dissertation. Before the notice was taken down it had already been photographed by a journalist. It then finally appeared in the Baltimore City Paper of June 19, 1996 as part of an article by Motoyama on the above conference.
All of these ads said the same thing:
"Volunteers wanted ... Anyone who has ever had a sexual relationship with an animal ... To fill out an anonymous questionnaire. I am a PhD student writing her dissertation on bestiality / zoophilia. I believe that this topic has not been adequately researched and so it is important to shed some light on this phenomenon. Especially important for people who have problems with this topic and for their psychologists / therapists. Please call me on weekdays at (my phone number) and ask for Hani. I am glad of any help I can get. Thanks!"
One day I got a phone call from a woman, I'll call her Beverly here. She told me that she had heard about me and my study from a friend on the Internet and that she would be happy to help. I was excited. We talked for about 10 minutes and now I was impressed. She was divorced, had a daughter and a boyfriend. It sounded very intelligent and it was a zoo. She also said that she has many connections in the zoo community and that she would ask anyone to give me a call. I could barely contain my excitement.
The next day I got a call from a man I will call Jim here. Jim was a college professor and a close friend of Beverly's. They lived about 20 minutes apart. We talked for maybe an hour. He sounded like a nice, smart boy and I really enjoyed our conversation. Then Ted called. He was a biologist and a friend of Jim's. It was a zoo too, and I felt heavenly.
I met Beverly for lunch. She came with her daughter, so we couldn't talk about my work, but we talked about everything else. I really liked her. Because I didn't have access to the Internet at the time, she offered me to come to me with a friend and laptop and use her account to access the Internet. Her boyfriend was a very handsome man in his thirties. He was divorced, a government employee, a top secret keeper, and a zoophile. I logged into the Internet for the first time in my life and into a chat room where a whole pack of zoophiles was waiting for me. Three hours had passed and I hadn't even noticed it. I was beside myself.
I never expected what happened next: zoophiles called me from all over the world. When I decided to do this study, I expected to find at most a handful of brave zoos and do something like a case study. But then over 160 people contacted me about this work (3 had learned about me through the Baltimore City Paper) and most of them were very supportive and encouraging. They congratulated me on the idea of doing a scientific paper on them and were excited to take part in this research project. Some of them started speaking for me and getting their zoo friends to attend. One zoo, Stasya, made its website available to me to discuss and advocate my work, and shared my contact information.
Some of the zoos started calling me regularly just to chat. I was happy about this progress because I wanted to build a trusting relationship with them and maybe get even more participants for my work through them. But more importantly, I enjoyed talking to them and found them very interesting. I was fascinated by their stories and often also by their wisdom. As their annual meeting approached, they invited me.
I was very flattered, because now I knew that they trusted me. But still, I had mixed feelings. I didn't want to get too close to them because then you might think I was a zoo myself and / or a friend of theirs, and that would have devalued the seriousness of my work. But on the other hand, how could I have missed such an opportunity? I decided to go. It turned out to be a profound weekend. It opened the door for me to a secret world populated by entertaining, intelligent people who lived sexual behavior that most of our society today regards with disgust. Once out of the shadows, they welcomed me to their meeting, and although I was a researcher, they opened up to me only with the expectation
Beverly picked me up from the airport with three other zoos, and after we drove past her briefly, we went to Jim's house where the meeting was taking place. Jim lived in a rural area. He had a couple of horses, a donkey, two llamas, and a couple of dogs. I met about 50 zoos from across the country. Some came with their partners, and there were big dogs everywhere I went. Everyone was nice and polite. People supported me wherever they could and were cooperative (after being convinced of my intentions, my trustworthiness and that I was not a zoo). All in all, I found myself in the company of interesting and friendly people, and we spent the weekend talking about zoophilia and general topics, watching (normal) films, playing cards and other games, went for walks, cooked, laughed and had a lot of fun. When I got home I had a long list of new volunteers for my study and I knew a lot more about zoophilia and zoophiles than before.
When I was at the meeting in May 1996, I took the opportunity to lead two concept groups. In such a group, the participants have an open discussion on a specific topic, in this case bestiality and zoophilia. It's kind of a brainstorming session, and I used it to get ideas about what to ask on my questionnaire.
The first group sat together for an hour and consisted of 13 men. The second group worked 1 1/2 hours and consisted of 11 men and one woman. Each participant signed a declaration of consent that allowed me to take up the discussion and use their contributions anonymously in my book. I would like to share some of their contributions with you so that you can get a feel for what these zoophiles think and what concerns them.
I started the discussion by asking, “What do you think is bestiality, and what is zoophilia? Is there a difference and what is the difference, if there is one? "
- “I think there is a clear difference between bestiality and zoophilia ... Zoophiles are emotionally more attached to their animals than a bestialist could ever be. A zoophile will consider the animal they are with as an equal. A bestialist will perhaps take the animal as a companion and take good care of it, but it would not have the same emotional value for him as it would for a zoophile. "
- “I would say that bestiality relates to the act itself and only to the act, regardless of the circumstances. Zoophilia is everything beyond the act itself, the thoughts, a lot of feelings, the judgment of whether or not to do it, and things like that. Zoophilia describes a person. Bestiality describes an action.
- “I would say it is the difference between a tender relationship and the pure use of the animal for satisfaction. From my point of view, the bestialists only use the animal for sexual gratification. Maybe they care, but they treat it like a sex toy. It has the same value for them as if they were using a doll or going to a prostitute. Whereas a zoophile relationship is more. It is a marriage in every sense of the word.
- "If my dog wants sex, I masturbate him and that's it ... I'm not a sex monster or anything. If my dog really wants sex then I give him that satisfaction, but my relationship with him is based on love. It's feelings of love - being with him, just being able to snuggle up to him, scratching his stomach, hearing all the sounds he can make, or a sweet look. Everything about him. I'm in love with every part of his body, with everything he's ever done ... "
- “The dog showed me that I really enjoy giving him pleasure. Satisfying him, not necessarily as an act of submission, sometimes maybe, but I think giving satisfaction is a real one, one of the unmistakable qualities of a zoophile, and that we enjoy making them happy. We enjoy giving them sexual satisfaction, we enjoy giving them wellbeing through petting and such, and we enjoy giving them the companionship they need as if they were in a pack or herd ... as us are close to them and have this kind of relationship with them, we can feel their needs, and to be able to do so is really a great privilege and joy. "
- “What is the difference between a person who makes love and a person who only makes sex? Even among zoophiles, it is possible to have sex without being in love, and so it is difficult to pinpoint where zoophilia ends and someone who only does bestiality, the sexual act, begins. Only the feelings of this person can really know that. "
- "Right, because there are people who are zoophiles like me, who now and then have affairs or sexual intercourse with beings that they may never have met before or not even got to know."
- “These are artificial definitions. There are subdivisions within the community. People want to set themselves apart. So something I want to distance myself from is definitely animal abuse. OK? Zoophiles generally don't want anything to do with it. Most of us here, I'm sure, would call ourselves zoos. How many of you have ever fence hoped? Are you less zoos? Are you now bestialists because you fence-hopped? "
At that point I had to ask: "What does 'fence hopped?'"
- "Jumped over the fence at night at ..."
- "You can't just knock on a farmer's door and say:" I would like to take your mare to a rendezvous. "
- “Zoophilia is something like a progressive process. When you are young, the hormones boil ... and the emotional part only develops over time. "
- "That sounds like any other, I mean, like normal, average heterosexual high school students when they're all together."
- “I feel that zoophilia does not necessarily have to include sex, for example like me and my dog. I mean, I consider myself a zoo, but I don't have to have sex with my dog. I love him more than anything in the universe, I consider him my lover and we are companions. I would do anything for him. It's just everything in my life, so I feel that there will be nothing more than masturbation. And when it comes to that, he starts with it. Sexuality is actually not part of my feeling. It is something he wants and it is he who started it. And I don't think that's the main aspect of my being a zoo. "
- “I think we are in the process of defining ourselves. Now that we know that there is a group of us that many of us formed maybe three or four years ago, now we are struggling with the nomenclature. "
- "The best word that will probably be coined is zoosexual because it takes all these arguments and throws them out the window."
- "Zoosexual actually includes everything we talked about."
- "It's a lifestyle."
- “Part of the problem is that ... are zoophilia, the distribution of zoophiles is a perfect cross-section of the entire world population, or at least the population of this country. There are zoophiles in every living environment. "
- "That brings us to another point: that most zoos, at least in my own case, it was like that, but I am sure, with many others too, one tends to see oneself as an absolute pervert because. .. it is almost impossible to find others. We've all been extremely lucky to find a whole bunch of people who are like us [through the internet]. I find it abhorrent to think how many people go through their entire lives without ever realizing that there are others too. "
- "It's really a good feeling to find others ... for a long time it was, well I have feelings, I'm not sure how to deal with them, and then I read part of a book. It's like 'wow there must be other people out there'. But then a problem arose: I had no way of getting in touch with them. After all, you can't just pin a button that says “Hi, I'm a zoophile”, you know (laughter). With the internet, you can get together with people and talk to them for a while and then find out that you are not alone. That is very comforting. It's terrifying considering how many people are living their lives, or maybe losing their lives because they might not be able to live with being a zoo. This also happens to many homosexuals and not being able to deal with being a zoo could have the same result ... It's tough. It is a bad trip to come to terms with this sexuality. It's not easy, and then there is all the stuff that society puts on you, and generally the situation that you live in secret and can only reveal yourself to a few, I mean, you can be happy when you come out to friends can..."
- “It can be an incredibly life changing experience ... the first time you read about people who are like you, the first time you talk to them online, the first time you talk to someone on the phone, when you talk to them meet for the first time. This is reality, you are really there, you are really like me! It's an amazing revelation ... "
- “Thanks to the Internet, you meet people and realize that it is really not a disease. It's a way of life, and that's good to know. "
- "Exactly. When I found out that there were other zoos and spoke to them casually, I found that they are the most un-insane people I have ever met in my life. "
- "There have been a great number, a really great number of people who have found that out."
- "About 700."
- "[Name of person] is someone who has put a website on the net that deals with zoophilia and similar topics, and he has some stories, facts and collections of facts on it ..."
- "It's much easier to get hold of it on a website ..."
- “You don't have to talk to anyone, it's just there. I also put one online, and it received an average of 200 hits a day from all over the world. "
- "[Name of a person] had so many [hits] that he had to turn the counter down. The hits from his site used 60 percent of his T1 bandwidth."
- "I think he said 10,000 ..."
- "Apparently there's an unlikely interest out there. Whether these are all voyeurs who are looking for the last kick or who are upset or who want to get excited ... but in this big bunch of people who are there who don't know what it is and who have a random reference somewhere see and look, there will always be a few who take the whole thing very seriously like we do, who actually go and talk to someone, or who hang around there a little, read newsgroups for a while, then get a little more courage and get in go to a talker, talk to a few people there, and they might come here and hang out with us madmen. "
- "Yes, I'm sure, for each of us who come into a group like this, there are maybe 40 who would never dare ..."
- "You also have a lot to lose ... If there really were any informers or blackmailers here ... So much can go wrong ... If you think how many people put their careers into it ..."
- “When you look at the Internet, there is an illusion that I also got caught up in for a while. Because when I got online two years ago, the network was different than it is today, and the people there seemed to be a lot smarter. But where it is now getting easier with AOL and Net Access, and where you no longer have to be particularly intelligent or a computer expert to go online, we are beginning to see that it is really a cross-section of society it [bestiality] is not a phenomenon of particularly intelligent people, computer freaks or something ... and I find that it is almost disappointing how this illusion dissolves that we might all be a little smarter or more creative than the average. The more I talk to zoos, the more zoos I meet online, the more I find
- “Yes, we weren't a representative cross-section. You know, a few years ago everyone who was on the internet had to be a smart person. You had to be familiar with computers and all the trimmings. I was convinced that zoophiles tended to be more intelligent than the average. "
- "I know two blacks and three Asians, and none of them want to appear in public."
- "If you draw parallels to the gay community ... When I was there for the first time, [a chat room called" bearish demons "], I met a black, bearded gay man and asked him: 'How is it that it is so few black, bearded gays exist? ' and he said, 'there are enough black, bearded gays, but they don't talk to you', yes and why not? ' “Because you are white.” And so there is a general tendency among ethnic groups not to mix ... So it may be that there are blacks too, but ... It may be that they become estranged feel ... they are zoos and we are zoos, but still we cannot come together. "
- "It's interesting I got to know five African-American zoos because everyone thinks my net name" Black "means that I'm black ... So I hear more from African-Americans."
- “I experience the same. My netname, which I have chosen, sounds very ethnic, very black ... And so I get a lot of contact with black people. "
- "I think there are just as many women, only they are much quieter [on the Internet]."
- “By and large I think that in our society women who have a different sexuality are treated much harder by the people than men. You don't admit it. Rather, they tend to hide the whole thing and are less willing or able to talk about it than men. "
- “And then there is the fact that most of us got to know each other through the net, and there are fewer women there. Many women go online and then they get scared. It is very often the case that people are asked, 'I want to watch a woman doing it with an animal'. It happens so often that it's annoying. I know I'm hurt and upset about this. 'Yes, I will call you if there is an animal that is really sexy' ... That is none of your business! Because they assume that anyone who does it with an animal has no problem with being humiliated. "
- "More and more women are appearing on the net, and that's how they come to these meetings - - there are some here, for example there is Goldie, who is not a zoo at all but sits here with us because she just thinks we are cool. .. "
- “But there are still quite a few women who don't feel comfortable talking about it ... Maybe in chat, but they [female zoos] would never talk about it in public. You have to be more careful, and you would do well because there are tons of horny men out there online - 60% chandeliers ... "
- “There are a lot more [female zoos] out there than our group shows here. Most of us can confirm this by personal e-mail. "
- The female participant said, “Women come in [on the Internet] and then they go out again. And I think that's just because women don't talk so much about sexuality and the sex they have. Most of you guys here don't know any personal intimate details about my sex life because I just don't tell them ... "
- “We believe that there are many more women. Maybe housewives who do something with their pets that you dare to dream. I think there are many hidden zoophiles out there, and when I think of those who don't and never will use the internet ... There may be many that we will never know about because it is such a taboo . "
- “We need reliable investigations ... Something where research has been done ... We have to be able to say 'it is accepted, it exists, it is real and we are not kidding ourselves ...' And something else I have seen a common trait that we are the only group I have ever seen as a group that is vehemently opposed to recruiting new people. We don't reach enough people. I've even gone so far as to discourage people when I have the feeling that the other person has only one sexual fantasy. Then I tell him that too, 'go and buy an inflatable doll or go to a prostitute.' You know, done in no time ... And if I get this feeling from someone, I discourage them because that's not the point. There is more to it. It's about a commitment a stronger commitment than marriage. Because you can't just walk away. You wouldn't understand. "
- “And it was difficult for me because I know that I will come back after 1 1/2 weeks to see dogs that are not used to me being gone. I haven't taken a week's vacation in three years. On the contrary, we were together almost all the time. "
- "I have never been apart from my beloved for a day ..."
- "It must surely be said that there are endless parallels between zoophiles in American society and homosexuals in American society ... We are walking exactly the same path, step by step, that gays have taken. Except we're a lot farther back. Yes, there are prejudices. If you go back a few decades, for example, all gays were transvestites ... "
- "Or child molester."
- “Yes, right, child molester. I can remember, when I was a kid, in the 70s, reading on Ann Landers: 'I found out my babysitter was a lesbian. Do I have to worry about the safety of my children now? ' And sure, it might be hard to imagine someone believing something like that, but people hear of someone doing things like that and then ... "
- “For some reason it's always the same pattern of thinking ... I seem to get this picture most of the time of someone raping a goat, I don't know why a goat of all people. For some reason, people always imagine this drooling madman pounding after a fleeing goat ... "
- “Going back to these stereotypes ... non-zoos online ... automatically assume, because I am male, that I am also a heterosexual zoo. As soon as you are a man, you are automatically after sheep or goats. And I had a lot of goats, but it doesn't even occur to them that humans could be in the passive role. "
- “A lot of people say, 'How can you abuse an animal? I think an animal has no choice when you come across it. ' Well, without going into the details, if I bend over and he jumps on it, it's like, well, yes, I don't hold a cannon under his nose and say 'you're going to do it now' ”(laughter).
- “But people will say, 'Yes, but you are only taking advantage of the poor being, it just follows its instinct.' And I always reply, 'Yes, but what would you call it when people do it? It's instinct too! '"
- “I once heard a non-zoo say in a discussion, 'You only trained the animal so that it would be interested in you at all.' And then he said, 'that the animal should be euthanized. "
- “Well, I can vouch for the virtues of my donkey!” (Laughter).
- “Well, I would say that the ignorance that some of these people display even exceeds that which is shown towards the gays. Because it is remarkable how much ignorance the zoophiles are treated ... "
- "Every now and then we are insulted on the Internet. Someone says, 'You madmen, don't you realize what a monstrous mutant being can emerge from such an unholy union?' "(Laughter)
- "And then you sit down and explain to them the connections between chromosome numbers and genetics and say that if one of us could have such a baby, then we would be filthy rich by appearing on TV programs. '"
- "And then we wouldn't have any more time because of all the children (laughter)!"
- "It [having sex with animals] is not common, but natural."
- “You could also say that albinism would be unnatural. It doesn't happen often, but every now and then. "
- "Bestiality is always presented superficially or ridiculously in the media."
- “I think that one of the reasons is that nobody really believes that someone who is still halfway sane would do something like that. We see that a lot when people come on the net [and say] 'Are you serious? Do you really do that? I thought it was a joke! '"
- "Yes, that happens often ... Either they say 'Do you have pictures' or they say 'But that's really abnormal' or they say 'You're all sick!'"
- “For some people we are there to be excited, for some we are laughable and some of us are really fed up with it. We want to be recognized as one of many sexual orientations. We want that. "
- “I've only seen each other in the media when someone got into any kind of trouble. And the rapists always get the presence in the media ... the rapists who abuse the animals ... those who are caught are those who people then find out about. "
- “Without exception ... the media use the term ... 'has sexually abused the animal'. Always. Every time anew.
- “A zoophile is portrayed as a bestialist who on occasion becomes something like a rapist. Someone who goes out and shoots people at McDonalds, or a pedophile. Because they always come up with studies that say the person who just shot 20 people at McDonalds was also a bestialist. Or, if you know he's a pedophile, then he started his career with animals. "
- “You also have to think of groups like the Humane Society, the SPCA, PETA. [These are American animal welfare and animal rights organizations]. They would like to see our heads in formalin, or on a silver platter ... "
- “Their goal is to turn the entire United States inside out and to pass laws that require that every privately owned animal must be neutered. That is exactly their stated goal. "
- “There is one more aspect, and that is not so rare at the Humane Society, where it is said in the supposed interest of the animal: 'The animal has learned to have sex with people. It can never be a pet again. ' And then they kill it. Simple and brutal, they kill it. "
- “I think there is another aspect where it is more likely to be accepted. It's one of those things teenagers do and then grow beyond it. And it's okay when you're young, but then when you get older, suddenly you're an anti-social. I still remember waiting while I became 17,18,19,20,21 that I would finally grow out of this phase (laughter). "
- "Well, I don't know what's wrong with the Kinsey investigation either, but it's the only study I have ever seen ..."
- "Yes, they had a problem with the Kinsey because he got his data from interviews with child molesters."
- "Whenever you see an article about the problems and the horrors of the Internet, what do they write about?"
- "Bestiality and Pedophilia."
- "I have observed that we see our animal partners as adults, that means that there is contact between adults ... Pedophilia is abhorrent, perhaps even more so for us than for the average person, because it is not about adult beings. "
- “For example my two horses, with whom I tried to do things that they didn't like and they showed me that they didn't like them. I mean ... their ears went back, you know, they weren't feeling well, they were getting restless. Basically what I'm saying, I wanted to be the master of my two horses. But my horses didn't allow that. There was a time, years ago, I have to admit, I would have carried on anyway, but the older I got, the more mature I got, the more I could accept my lifestyle, the more sensitive I became to the needs of my animal lovers. .. I have never tried to do anything with my animals that I had the impression that it would have hurt them in any way. "
- "A dog also has a rather radical way of saying no, with two rows of very sharp teeth ..."
- “(If) you are not interested, then you need an understanding person who then does not go on. Because anyone could go on ... Just use enough force on the animal ... But then you are a bestialist. A zoo would see that the animal refuses to go on and stop. And that can be frustrating because you are aroused yourself, and then you really need a strong personality to say, 'Ok, the animal says no and if I continued now it would be rape.' "
- “It is just a fact that if the animal is really serious, then you can really show more than clearly that you are not very interested. Then, as you put it, the dog has two rows of very sharp teeth, and the horse has a good healthy set of teeth and mighty sharp hooves, quite apart from that it is at least four times as heavy as you, at least 200 kilos ... I was once kicked in the thigh by a gelding ... If I had my head down, it would have hit me in the pear and I would now have brain damage. Yes, then I would be plem plem ... "
I then asked about the difference between children and animals when it comes to sex.
- "Children are not grown up."
- "For me it is an exchange with a mature adult of another species who is on the same level as me. I do not see an animal as lower or myself as higher, and a child, any immature being, be it a child or an animal that has not yet grown up, does not have the mental endowment, the nerve tracts, whatever you want to call them, they are not yet developed enough to make a sustainable decision. "
- "Yes, I agree with you that animals are, I also see an animal as being the same to me ..."
- "How can you see a child as a decision-making equality? If they are not able to do what is called a reasoned decision, then one should not bother with them at all. Whether they are 4 or 40."
- "Back to the Humane Society again: for some incomprehensible reason they see animals as children ..."
- "And as soon as they say that, they threw us off because it is very difficult to express that children are just children and animals are damn well not! OK? They are not people, and people who want to put that on one level, they insult the animal because, for example, they compare a horse to a stallion like ..., my beloved, they compare him to a child who doesn't know what's going on ... "
- "And remember, there is another reason to equate children with animals: Children are an excellent political tool, a media weapon ..."
- "Yes and the Humane Society, when they compare animals to children, I want to hear what they say when people eat children (laughter)."
- "I think the longer I am a vegetarian, the more bitter I get. I don't know why, but when I see someone eating meat, I don't necessarily imagine that they would be my lover, but it was a living being with me Consciousness that could react as we just discussed and experienced love ... "
- "It always boils down to the assumption that people who have sex with animals are those drooling idiots who can't control themselves. I once had lunch with a friend and talked to him, how much I love but would have a job at the stables in town and he said, 'And are you going to tell the owner that you have sex with animals?' And I said 'No, of course not' and he then 'but you have to' and I asked 'why' and he: 'You have to warn him that you have sex with animals' and I said:' How come you are that I want to have sex with his animals? '"
- "There are tons of male gynecologists with female patients, but I was kicked out of my last job at a veterinary clinic because I am a zoophile. The only sheep I touched was smeared with disinfectant solution for medical reasons never did anything sexual to an animal there. But I lost my job because of my sexual orientation, even though I never did any sexual activity there. "
- "There is a completely different point: If you are in a stable or in any other situation with a lot of animals around you, that doesn't necessarily mean that you find each of them attractive. I see lots of dogs walking around the square and I find many attractive, but also many not ...
- "... I've been living my whole life as an exclusive zoo, and as far as explaining things go, I've already come out to my sister, and my God, she sat down and smoked 4 cigarettes in a row. I have them Shivered all night, but she understood me and she said that she still loves me. But I shouldn't tell my parents that. Hani, I made this terrible mistake and printed out your advertisement where you are looking for volunteers. And then I visited someone, my parents came to me to clean and found him. "
- "Oh shit!"
- "I don't even dare to think what would happen if someone looked into my computer."
- "My friend was lucky, he had a psychiatrist who told the judge that there was nothing wrong with [having sex with animals] ... He got away with parole but had to serve community hours, lost his job with the state Horse, and his career was ruined. "
There was no reason for that. I had a dog, already had a close emotional relationship with him, and he was like, 'Get rid of the dog' and I was like, 'Out of the question, I won't.' "
- "I was in therapy in my early teens ... I talked about suicide one morning and that was enough. I grappled with guilt for almost 20 years, repressed my feelings, and then found people [on the internet] that I could talk to, and that gave me a chance to break out of my guilty feelings and feel safe enough to emotionally deal with [my zoophilia]. "
I asked, "What was the psychologist's reaction?"
- "I never told him. I didn't feel safe enough to tell him. [We talked about] a lot of other things, but I never trusted him enough to tell him about [my zoophilia]."
- [The woman around said:] "I only told my shrink a few weeks ago and in a context about my [human] partner, and at the end [of the conversation] I had to say, 'Wait a minute Well, I just told you I was having sex with animals and you ... just walk over it. ' And she said, 'Do you have a problem with that?' And I said, 'No' and she said, 'How long have you been here now?' and I said, 'Far too long' (laughter). And she said, 'Well, I know you well enough to know that if you had a problem with that, you would have told me a long time ago.' And after that we never brought it up again ... "
- "I told this to a [therapist] ... and his first thought was to put me in the closed room for observation for 4 weeks ... I know of at least 3 people who ended up there, those with electric shocks and drugs and all treated simply because they admitted they were zoos ... "
- "I went to see a therapist about it ... and his whole reaction was, 'You should be locked up and the key thrown away.' I got up and went out ... and I would have no problem at all if he got rid of his license ... "
I asked if they believed that zoophilia and / or bestiality were perversions.
- "Do I think it's perversion, or right or wrong, or something? I don't think it's wrong, but actually it doesn't matter. I've come to the conclusion that you just have sexual desires, which is what it is the only thing that matters is how you deal with it. "
- "So maybe one should rephrase the question and not say perversion per se but maybe ... 'it brings you worries. Self-doubt, feelings of guilt?'"
- "Is it morally wrong? If we thought it was morally wrong, we would not be here ..."
- "If you don't have any problems with sexuality yourself and it doesn't harm your partner or society, then you shouldn't consider it wrong. I hope that modern psychologists see it that way too, that you don't hurt your partner You can argue about bestialists, but when you're in a zoo you don't hurt your partner or society. Unless they are filming you through the window and then getting upset about it. "
- "In my case it was like this: my family had an educational book about human sexuality in a bookcase when I was growing up. And since the day I found the book and read about zoophilia, I haven't done anything about it but I said to myself, 'Whoa, OK'. And I love Greek sagas. I thought they were pretty cool, and at that point I knew about my inclination and never really had a problem with it. "
- "I have found that I am able to react erotically to many different stimuli, and just cannot relate this kind of morality, this construct of our society to these natural feelings of mine."
- "When I was a teenager, I was fortunate that my parents had a copy of the Kinsey Report in their home, and I read it and found the description of Bestiality and thought, 'OK, I'm not alone.' And it was a big one Help deal with the feelings I was having. I would often sit down and wonder, is what I am doing wrong? You know, if you follow the Biblical interpretation of the Levites, then every person who comes with an animal sleeps, is stoned, and the animal should also be killed. I found that extremely unfair to the animal. "
- "From my point of view, I can't understand at all how something that gives the animal pleasure or well-being can be redefined as wrong. And I see a lot of people who think nothing of eating an egg from a chicken that damn it is to spend your whole life in a 30 cm cage with four other chickens, and that is not supposed to be cruelty to animals. But if I insert my genitals into those of the animal or the other way around, or however you want to see it, then it is suddenly a terrible thing. And I don't understand that it should be okay to kill animals or cause them pain, to do whatever you want with them to achieve the desired result, to pull a cart or to serve as food . But it's supposed to be wrongto have mutually satisfactory sexual relations with them. "
I asked them if they wanted to change something and stop being a zoophile.
- "I don't know what it's like not to be a zoophile, so I can't say yes or no to it."
- "Yes, if I hadn't been one from the start, then maybe I would rather not be one. But would I want a transformation from a zoo into a non-zoo? No."
- "Yes, I would. That may be a shock now, but I would like it. Because when I imagine what I am and what it means to deal with it and to learn to live with it. And I was ready, I have sat there wondering if it wouldn't be better to quit. It was causing me immense pain. I would change it because, to be honest, I've had my zoophilia since I was 14. Until I was 25 I didn't even have a word for it. I just knew I was different. But it has caused me a lot of pain in my life and I have never been able to get it under control. To this day I struggle with it and suffer . "
- "If I had had the chance, and in fact, when I was 24, I missed two opportunities because of my inexperience with women. We were at a party and she asked me, 'Am I your girlfriend?' And as the inexperienced fool that I was, I gave an honest answer and said, "I don't own anyone. It's your decision whether you want to be with me. "Six months later, she married the man she once spoke about, who once wanted to know. She actually asked me if I wanted a long-term relationship at the time. But I only realized that years later. So on these two [women / occasions] I would have liked to have changed. But now, considering where it has taken me, I wouldn't want to change anymore, you know, just don't look back. I've come to terms with it. "
- "As for me, I wouldn't change. I'm 23 and I would never have changed ... I'm really at a crossroads in my life now ... because I have a girlfriend who would marry me on the spot But for all the difficulties it gives me, I wouldn't give up my relationship [with animals] for anything in the world. Because it's so rich and it makes me feel so perfect to have that relationship. "
- "The bonds we have with animals are really unique ... It's not the same as with a human. I'm married and I don't want to change that ... But it's really important for me to be a zoo The feelings I have when I'm with horses are incredible. And I'm addicted to them. I would never give that up. If I had to stop having sex with animals forever, I could handle it. But if I did I would have to live the rest of my life and never again experience the feeling of a horse under my hands, or the smell of its breath in my nose, my nostrils, or never again see my face reflected in their eyes, I would rather die. "
- "It is possible that we can change, but I will always have dogs in my life. I have often asked myself, 'would I do something differently?' And then I say to myself, 'You know, if I hadn't had these impulses, then maybe I would not have experienced this confusion and this endless loneliness, and this self-hatred for a while.' But then I also see how I am now. Even if it was hard to get there, it made me who I am, and I like that. "
- "In my case .. I've dated great women and been in bed many times. But I'm still looking for the one who signals that she tolerates bestiality, and I don't stay with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am . "
- "And how do you teach that to your girlfriend? You know, darling, by the way, you asked me why I hang around in the barn all the time ..."
- "I have told my last two friends that they cannot be everything to me. That my interests simply continue. They have no hooves, no mane, no tail, they have no paws ..."
- "I think all zoos have in common that they will not even consider a long relationship with a person unless that person is ready to fully accept zoophilia.
- "That's not true for me, I won't go with you."
- "Yes, for me. The people here know that there are people who cannot accept them ... I married my wife because I thought that would make the most sense."
- "I can still remember when I was 14 and I had these desires to be with goats and the dogs and the horses ... and at the same time I thought, 'How can I ever manage that, my wife To hide the fact that I'm going out, you know. To have sex with the horses. "
- "Well, I lived with my grandparents and they were like 'when are you going to bring your girlfriend with you'. And I said, 'Next time I might bring my dog with me'. (Laughter) And the next time I brought my dog and her said: 'You really brought your dog with you'. And I: 'Well, it keeps me warm at night.' (Laughter) And when he starts snoring, I throw him out into his doghouse. That was the topic for done that day. " (Laughter)
- "My wife said she was hoping I would catch canine AIDS and die. (Laughter) But what she particularly recommended to me was that I shouldn't bring my weird internet friends home with me because they got AIDS on the furniture would smear. " (Laughter)
- "I would only change one thing about zoophilia and that is the fact that I will outlive anyone I fall in love with. I now have my fifth canine lover because his predecessors died for various reasons. And that is the hardest thing you experience as a zoo. That's the only thing I don't like. "
- "Yes, I just had my first love, a dog ... I got so far that I couldn't concentrate on my schoolwork in college. Or when I was in the National Guard, you know, only 8 hours, but Loneliness with anxiety attacks because I wasn't with her. And then you can imagine what it was like, what I went through when I lost her ... I had two or three years of depression, so deep that I couldn't feel anymore I even stopped reading because I couldn't concentrate for more than a paragraph. I failed my first Army training and then had eight months of formal training ... I spent all of my income, just to maintain a house with difficulty and to live in it and to be able to lead this life ...I've spent my entire adult life making this way of life possible ... I just can't be without a dog. "
- "I already knew what I was when I was around 11 years old. My first lover was on my newspaper delivery round. She was an old German shepherd. But I never had a chance to touch her because I was so horrorful of it got caught. But then when she died of cancer I cried for a week. I had my first mistress when I was 18. My parents let me buy a dog and it was the happiest year of my life. But then was it the problem, they gave them away (he cries) ... I don't want to remember that now (he keeps crying and a few of the boys around him hug him) I fell into a deep depression about it , and almost killed me ... "
- "The problem with losing all those loved ones over and over again is that every time it takes a part of you with it. And every time you lose a little confidence in yourself that you will ever be able to fall in love again ... And yet, after I lost [my horse] and all the other horses, and after I lost the dog, after I lost all of them, I was still able to feel that connection. that you feel, that bond of love that you feel for an animal. "
I asked, "Why do you have a sexual relationship with animals?"
that I now resent people for that. Some people are just not perfect. OK. But then they're not the right people for me either. "
- "Dogs seem to be very good with people. Look at all the interactions we have with dogs. We care for them, we take them in our arms, and we kiss them like we do with people who are us We often have more physical contact with our dogs than we have with humans. We want to protect them, and often the dogs want to protect us too. It is great fun to play with dogs. You understand them. So when we now interact with dogs on all these social levels, and the dog is a social partner for us, then sex is the natural next step. So we have even more in common. And whether that is love or not, who knows. Love is a human category. Of course, one can squeeze an animal's actions into what we call love.But not even people agree on what love actually is. "
- "I think the 'why' question is pretty easy to answer. It's because we like it and because it feels good. Another question would be 'how' or 'how did you get like this?' I suppose that 99 percent of the people here in their youth were labeled 'kind of weird' by those around them ... A lot of people weren't exactly the party animals in their development. "
- "Your environment shapes you. The environment in which we grew up pushed us towards animals. That didn’t make us zoophiles, but if someone like me didn’t have that many relationships with people, then you just got together looked somewhere else for a comrade; now and then. I also had human friends, but my dog was definitely closer to me than any of the other children I was hanging out with at the time. It may not be the same for everyone, but I suppose quite a few of us have been pushed in that broad direction, you know, by our environment. That may not be the whole reason, but it was certainly part of the reason. "
- "On the other hand, that's not the only reason. I, for example, was part of a very social part of the school culture because I participated in a lot of sporting events. I had sex with young ladies around the same time. My first sexual experiences I had with goats and with women. So I had both options, but slowly dropped out, so that now that I have turned 40 and still single, I have almost exclusively turned to animals on this point. "
- "Yes, you see, I was married for five years ... I'm out of this marriage now, I'm divorced now. But I have a child from this marriage. But she never did that [sex with animals], my ex-wife. You and I had sex that was different from my dog. That's real sex, real love. "
"Why?"
"Why." (Laughter) I really can't explain why. I was eleven when I had my first fantasies about it. So I don't know why or where I got it, you know ... I really have no idea ... "
- "I've had sex with animals since I was eight. At the time, I really had no conception of right or wrong in what I was doing. I just knew that if my mother caught me there would be trouble. But I did didn't really know why. I just knew that it was really nice and that I liked to do it. "
- "I don't know much about heredity, but I think I was born that way. I've always been so close to nature and animals that I think I never thought that was really wrong. I couldn't see that when I did loved an animal so much why I shouldn't go a step further. I just feel like I was born this way. It's not that something necessarily happened in my childhood that drove me away from women or anything. I wasn't an anti-social kid. My parents even told me I was a normal kid. " (Laughter)
- "I've always been very close to animals emotionally ... But I was also physically attracted to the animals on the street. It was something like what I assume is when straight people see a beautiful woman on the street: 'Look once the woman '. And I see an attractive animal and then I feel exactly the same:' Oh, that's really an attractive animal '. And that's always been the case, and I think it's inherited ... "
- "I think I never had a choice. I'm just like that and I couldn't say what it would be like not to be a zoo. I didn't choose to have sex with animals or to feel this relationship and love for animals. Me just can't ignore it. It's part of myself and I can't, I wouldn't have a way to have a normal relationship without that ... That's just how I am. And if I'm honest with myself, that's this The way I have to live. There is no choice ... "
- "Perhaps another aspect of this 'why' is that I always had problems dealing with other people and there was always tension when I had to deal with them at school or at work. And the time I spent with my companions [the animals] was relaxing and helped me deal with it and relax myself to free myself and deal with the tension ... "
I asked about the need for intellectual stimulation in those who prefer animals as sexual partners.
- "Oh, I have a social group, social counterparts that I deal with, and that satisfies my need for meaningful conversation when I want it to."
- "I don't think any of us are total hermits to the point that we are only concerned with animals and are not at all interested in people."
- "I am sure that there are many people who are married to the paralyzed, or to people who have nervous disorders of some kind and who cannot speak, who cannot answer ... I mean that there are people who with Companions are married or have companions incapable of high-level intellectual conversation. "
- "I know people with whom one cannot have a high-quality intellectual conversation." (Laughter)
- "And animals can just as well be an intellectual challenge."
- "Taking care of a horse is an intellectual challenge. You know, understanding it and understanding its needs."
- "We all have to deal with society, and we have our jobs or school, or our family life ..."
- "These are separate worlds. You go to one place for one and another place for the other. And it becomes an organic part of your life where you don't even think about it anymore ..."
- "I think there is something that is clearly missing in a zoophile relationship ... Everything about my dog is great, but I can't have the kind of, you know, exclusive communication and the kind of, you know, spiritual communication with him that you can get from other people ... It's something completely different. It's completely different. I can't even describe it. It's like comparing apples to pears. It's not the same. I think when I'm completely want to be then I need both.
